THE REASON WHY.
How many times has something gone wrong in your life and you thought you must have the worse luck, or why do only bad things happen to me for many years I felt like this and believed there must be something wrong with me, Bad things, Luck, and relationships seemed to follow me What am I doing wrong? I treated people well, always helping them in the hope I would be treated the same way. My attitude and response were of sadness/self-pity, to a being a victim/Why me? Then on to Defensive, selfish/fuck it, when time and time again I tried to make things better and every time nothing changed or life just got harder I was nearly at breaking point couldn’t take no more. Hopeless, unloved, Unwanted, Broken and abused if there is a God surely, he must be thinking to give this girl a little break. Then My precious son died Any pain I felt previous was now void the pain that shook my body when my beautiful son took his last breath Is a pain I have never felt before. I begged never to feel it again. That’s it I’m done I didn’t want to be here anymore I want to go to heaven with my Angel son. The reason I am here to-day and the only reason is my two Sons the love I have for them How can I leave them No one can love and protect them like I can, Their love, support and forgiveness gave me the will to carry on I made a promise that I would love Guide and support them to my very last breath I’ve kept my promise Imade mistakes Then I did all I possibly could to put it right Words cannot express My Love and how proud I am of my Now four children and my Angel Son May all your life’s be blessed with true love and Happiness. R.I.P Son love you always till we meet again ❤
Then it came to me what I was doing wrong
I had a mission in life to find Happiness and not to be treated disrespectfully or be abused My whole life I have been fighting begging to be loved liked, excepted, treated equally and asking why? And in doing this I Tolerated and allowed myself to be be Abused and Disrespect, Sadly when you seek something from someone you open yourself up to manipulation repeating the Patten of seeking approval, giving them your power and strength making you weaker and weaker unable to fight back Your life is now in their hands, believing you cannot walk away because you can’t live without them. You would be right if you are saying that these people are unkind, cruel even. Then to make yourself feel better we can blame these people for our downfall
In my new mission I seeked healing and recovery, to take responsibility for my past and future chooses I have no bad feeling or blame towards the people who have hurt me or disrespected me I understand that if you don’t like the way you are being treated only you can stop it some people will take advantage of someone’s weakness and vulnerability because that’s the kind of person they are but they can only do this if you allow it From my love of Books and research and to be free from burdens I continued my Mission.
Self-love, Self-respect, and Self-worth Are what you should be aiming for Looks easy looking at the words written down Sorry it hard work, Honesty, Trust, and commitment Are needed to have a Happy Healthy Life and relationships.
My life is in no way perfect I still make mistakes, It is how I deal with problems and issues that are different anything that is needed in my life I have enough self-love and worth to get it myself I have prioritized what is important to me. Family first every time, Then to be able to help others who may be in need. If others do not treat me as I do them No stress see ya. Positive thoughts, People, and Vibes No exceptions