a violent, sexual, verbal relationships take courage, time Planning and in most cases, every last bit of physical, mental and spiritual strength you have, most victims would have done this three or more times. I can’t count how many times I have heard people say ” why doesn’t she/he just leave?” or “Why do they go back”? ,  even suggesting they must enjoy being hurt, or they have made this up.

The fear,  can be like you may never felt before, making you feel sick to your stomach or actually being physically Sick, Some Abusers wear you down taking your Self Confidence, Esteem and worth to Zero then just to show full control they will rip out your soul leaving you so weak, then you hang on for dear life to your abuser because they are the only thing Keeping you alive and can turn off your life support whenever they choose(not in physical sence), you are now in a state of confusion not knowing right or wrong Fake or real to stay alive in these circumstances is most probably the hardest thing you will ever have to experience.


A lot of people will try to make sense of the abuse and the abuser’s behaviour  also believing them when they say sorry it will never happen again, unfortunately, most people can not turn  their feelings on and off  desperately hoping the abuser will change like they have promised no one wants to walk away from the one they love breaking up their family, Feelings of Shame failure, Family and friend finding out if you have hidden the abuse from them I am sure there are many other reasons why.

You really do not know what it feels like unless you have been in the same situation, So hold back on your judgement, if you have no kind words or are unable to help keep your opinions to yourself, please.


To be a victim of rape is horrendous the effects on your life that comes after can be devastating changing your whole life as you knew it 

No-one has the right to force you to have sex or other sexual acts  It is a criminal offence if all parties do not consent,

The 2010 Domestic Violence Act reads as follows: “Domestic violence constitutes any act of omission of a perpetrator which harms injures or endangers the health, safety, limb, or well-being whether, mental or physical of the victim or tends to do so and includes causing physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional, verbal and psychological abuse

The first case where a husband was charged with raping his wife in the USA happened in the 1970s while England only criminalised it in 1991. 

Both men and women have said they have woken up in the morning in bed with some random not knowing how they got there or any recollection of what they did sexually  so, in reality, you couldn’t have given consent, One-night stand I hear you shout I do not  judge anyone and if that what you want to do then go for it but  when you are aware of what you are doing, and who you are doing it with from a woman’s point of view If you don’t remember having sex with one man you wouldn’t know if his five friends had sex with you after Not only are you putting you health at risk bur also your life

Fact: In law, consent to sex is when someone agrees by choice and has the freedom and capacity to make that choice. If a person is unconscious or incapacitated by alcohol or drugs, they are unable to give their consent to sex. Having sex with a person who is incapacitated through alcohol or drugs is rape. No-one asks or deserves to be raped or sexually assaulted; 100% of the responsibility lies with the perpetrator. Everyone has the right to live their life free from the fear and experience of sexual violence.

There are amazing charities  that will help you if you have been raped or sexually assaulted also The police have specially trained officer who will help you Personally I have only heard good things Please get the help you have nothing to be ashamed of

The National Rape Crisis Helpline can be reached on 0808 802 9999 or on minicom 0208 239 1124. The Helpline is open every day of the year (including bank holidays) between 12 and 2.30 and 7 and 9.30pm. We are also open on weekdays (excluding bank holidays) between 3pm and 5.30pm