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Children who witness Violent abusive relationships in the home can then become involved in abusive relationships later on,  Our children know what we teach and show them, I believe it is the parent’s responsibility to make sure their children know that violence, abuse of any kind is always wrong, To teach them social skills self-love self-respect and self-worth

Children of any age are affected by domestic violence and abuse. At no age will they be unaffected by what is happening, even when they are in the womb. Obviously, it is very upsetting for children to see one of their parents (or partners) abusing, attacking or controlling the other.

Younger children may become anxious. They may complain of tummy-aches or start to wet their bed. They may find it difficult to sleep, have temper tantrums and start to behave as if they are much younger than they are. They may also find it difficult to separate from their abused parent when they start nursery or school.

Older children react differently. Boys seem to express their distress much more outwardly, for example by becoming aggressive and disobedient. Sometimes, they start to use violence to try to solve problems and may copy the behavior they see within the family. Older boys may play truant and start to use alcohol or drugs (both of which are a common way of trying to block out disturbing experiences and memories). I myself have seen this in young people and what started as a way to block feeling and emotions go on to Addiction of alcohol and or drugs, and criminal activity to supply their Habbit.

Girls are more likely to keep their distress inside. They may become withdrawn from other people, and become anxious or depressed. They may think badly of themselves and complain of vague physical symptoms. They are more likely to have an eating disorder or to harm themselves by taking overdoses or cutting themselves. They are also more likely to choose an abusive partner themselves. young girls also allow themselves to be abused having very little Confidence or self-respect.  

Children of any age can develop symptoms of what is called ‘Post-traumatic Stress Disorder’. They may get nightmares, flashbacks, become very jumpy, and have headaches and physical pains.

Children dealing with domestic violence and abuse often do badly at school. Their frightening experiences at home make it difficult to concentrate in school, and if they are worried about their abused parent, they may refuse to go to school.



My last born..

Well I made it, My last born has just celebrated her 18th Birthday Being a mum never ends but I now have four adult children I have been a mother for 28 years and I have much amazing fun, proud and happy memories of the children growing up but I would be lying to say it has been easy and without troubles even heartbreak, I am sharing this for all the parents who may be in the toilet crying or pulling out there last hair Stay strong, Keep trying Believe me its worth it in the end


cropped-untitled-document-7-e1526469959689.jpgcropped-real-world_grande.pngI got that wrong,

I don’t think I am alone when I say, Well I hope not lol I have made mistakes and made decision that didn’t work out and at times my choices were poor as a mother, woman, and person.

How I dealt with this in the past was to never show my weakness or fuck-ups to keep your head high and hope no one sees your struggles because you should never show your weakness allowing people to use it against you, this would just put extra pressure on myself from my healing and recovery. I know now that was wrong in so many ways.

To be able to say I made a mistake makes me human, I made them trying to improve my life thinking it was for the best.

A real friend will love you and support you in times of need, not use it against you.


Be very particular about the people you have in your life

I can hold my head up high and say I tried my hardest, nothing can be used against me because I do not seek approval or care what others think of me I have enough unconditional love and support around me that if you have a dislike for me Ok see ya.

What I have written above all starts from Lack of confidence, Self-esteem, Self-love and the inability to Express yourself in a positive confident way.  

For taking the time To read x

Written by K.L.SPM-LOGO


R.I.P Young one’z


My thoughts on the man calling these three young people who died on the train track Scum, Why would you say that? I’m sure these boys Family’s really don’t need to see that. I expressed my love and thoughts to the boys and there family’s Just one of the comment I got  from a very rude man

“they deserve everything they get, Hope the train hurt them when it hit them”  ” They got no-one to blame but themselves”  Vandal Scum,

I am not saying they weren’t wrong for what they were doing and I can’t imagine how the train driver feels but to call them names and say they deserve death this is from adults and they wonder why the children of today have the attitude and lack of respect for human life No parent should have to bury their child My love and thoughts are still with these boys and there family’s regardless to those who said I was wrong.

I felt like I was being bullied because I showed compassion These nasty cruel people have reinforced the fact there are very little love  and compassion in this world 


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Don’t make your life harder,

Except your child is growing up and life as you know, is over for at least a few years, you may have had an easy time with your other child/ children, To be honest, three of my children’s teen years wasn’t too painful, this is where I went wrong, I did this three times the  last child it will be a breeze, so I was comfortable, feeling confident I took my eye off the ball, Wow that ball smacked me right back in the face before I knew my whole household was in mayhem .

Advice that I was given,  Make sure she knows you love her and you will continue to support her obviously I never stopped loving her but there were times I didn’t like her she got me so mad, frustrated and stressed. 

Please familiarize yourself with these words Ungrateful, Selfish and F**king Rude.

Try not to take things to personal you may not get a whole sentence from them for weeks can only be Thankful for small mercy’s  

I still tried to give my daughter advice not that she needed it because she knows everything, be very Honest straightforward Do, not sugar coat the real Risks and Dangers  that is happening on the street  so they can at least try to protect themselves (“I wish I listened to you mum” she says now ) 

The most painful heart-wrenching thing to do Is watch your child walk in the direction that you know is the wrong way, Regardless of what you say or how you try to protect them, Darling, they will continue this route, This is when I had to say If you can not hear then you must Feel  I will always be here for you there is nothing you can’t tell me that we cant figure out together some kids just have to learn the hard way .

I write this in Honour of My amazing special Sons and Daughter who had to live with me at that  Emotional time, I wouldn’t have got through it  without you I am So proud of you all and Love you so very much,images

Also my beautiful nearly adult Daughter we experienced much drama pain and Confusion but we made it out alive lol You taught me a lot about myself on this Journey Baby, I wish you all the love and Happiness in the world Mummy will always be here 



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Seeking others approval or worrying what others thought of me was a big issue for me and it put so much stress and pressure on me, fear of being wrong being careful what I said trying to be as perfect like everyone else, 

So when I started to work on my Healing and recovery it removed the shit out my eye and I started to see people for what they really were, Oh my I got it so wrong these people who I was so concerned about judging me,

Why’s that????

I would never want to be like them, A real friend would have helped, Guided me through my insecurities instead of disrespecting me and my Family. Realising and removing the burden and expectations it was only then I really started to be able to really Heal from Past Abuse and Trauma. 

“What you see is what you get, your free to leave at any time”

At one point I lost all Faith in people In human Kind, But I knew I had to get that back, Caring and kindness for others is a very important part of my life and means a lot to me I will never feel ashamed of this 



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I have had a bit of a shitty week with my Diabetic, My sugar has been playing up and Its made my Mood really quite low, and just a little self-pitying, That’s a lie, I felt very sorry for myself and I really have to accept my Children are not a mind reader,so when I am there with the negative thoughts that nobody cares maybe because they didn’t know. They really are the most loving and caring children and Life could be a lot worse So I will give Thanks for all of my blessings, Love and support