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Don’t suffer in silence

Depression, anxiety or other mental health illness is nothing to be ashamed of, I never thought I would be able to manage or overcome mental health issues, I tried to cope on my own, one of the main reasons was I felt ashamed or I would be judged and worrying about what others would think of me, Admitting to myself that had a problem and seeking help was a relieve ” It is ok to be Happy again ” I am not saying there are any magic cures or easy fixes but your mental health can be managed, Seek help from your GP, Be honest with friends and family and if you are treated badly or judged for this even without a mental health illness  you should remove negative people from your life. 



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Yes it is a little uncomfortable even a little Embarrassing, The Doctors/Nurses that are doing the screening must have seen all shapes and sizes, Fanny’s that is, I dread it when I know my smear is due because I feel like every other woman, But I still go, Living longer being able to spend time with my family making beautiful memories means more to me then a few moments of feeling uncomfortable and Embarrassed.

“How did my Mummy die”   “She was too Embarrassed to have a smear test” A bit harsh you may think but true, 

Women are being urged not to miss their smear tests as screening rates hit a 20-year low and a charity admits ‘the Jade Goody effect is long gone’.

Latest statistics show attendance of cervical screening in England is the lowest for two decades, having fallen to 72 percent. R.I.P. Beautiful Lady ❤


I have had a bit of an up and down week Just as things started to look a lot brighter My dog got out and I haven’t found her I am so gutted then My daughter was having a few problems Family first every time everything all calm at the minute first real chance I had to anything I will give thanks for the blessing I did receive and as for the negative there must be a lesson so I will learn from it I wish you all a Drama free weekend enjoy God blessImage result for chill out


self help


Can be an issue and a set back In your life From eating too much,  not enough or being on a diet, If you have Low self Confidence, esteem and not happy with your body image without a Positive mind thoughts, it can be very hard to improve yourself and move on to a Happier Lifestyle.

If I’m completely honest If I hadn’t got unwell, I may still be lying to myself that I’m happy, as I was, Losing weight, can be so hard and soul destroying, Believe me, I tried everything, In the end, I lost weight from eating three meals a day, nothing in between and exercising, No not at the Gym, My son suggested to go swimming  My reply was “when I’ve lost my weight” lol

So I walked the dog, I swept the floors instead of Hoovering, running up and down the stairs, Put the music on Having a little boogie If you enjoy  a glass of wine save it to the weekend, I feel so much better in myself having more energy  and Motivation

Always eat breakfast even if it a smoothie And drink Lots Water.

Eating well and exercising is Taking care of yourself, even if your weight  is not an issue it is very important not to Disrespect your body and your Health

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It’s Lovely to see the sun shining, The Beautiful flowers blossoming and Gods little Creatures Flying around but,

If you get bitten or stung and are worried go and see your GP or  My local Chemist is a lovely man and very Helpfull and they offer quite a few services.

Contact your GP or call NHS 111 for advice if:

Your symptoms don’t start to improve within a few days

You’ve been stung or bitten in your mouth or throat, or near your eyes

symptoms of a wound infection, such as pus or increasing pain, swelling or redness

Call 999 immediately

difficulty breathing

A swollen face, mouth or throat

Nausea or vomiting

Dizziness or feeling faint

Loss of consciousness

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I have to confess there have been times in my life where I pushed boundaries so far that they almost sprung back in my face and on a few occasions It was that close when I got out  still on this side I didn’t know who from above to Thank so I Thanked the Lord and his Beautiful Angels, I think for many years I have just been thankful for another day Pheeew and for the unconditional Love and support I receive ,

I realise now that I have been punishing myself,  

seeking forgiveness and it was me who needed to forgive myself, 

when will I be worthy of more, Happiness, Love and Peace?

the answer is …When I stop punishing myself, forgive myself and tell myself 

It’s ok to be Happy, find Love and have peace of mind of taking responsibility for past mistakes Decisions and chooses I can’t change them but I most definitely have learnt from them.




Telegraph Reporters
22 JANUARY 2018 • 8:22AM
Many young women are not attending smear tests because they are embarrassed about their bodies, a cancer charity has warned.

Jo’s Cervical Cancer Trust said it was concerned that body image issues, including the perception of what is “normal”, could be putting women’s lives in danger. One in four eligible women (aged 25-64) do not currently take up their invitation for a smear test, rising to one in three among 25-29-year-olds. It is even as high as one in two in some areas of the UK.

The charity conducted a survey which found that more than a third of women (35 percent) are failing to get tested because of their body shape. Concerns over smelling “normally” (38 percent) were also a factor. The poll of women aged between 25 and 35 also found a third (31 percent) admitted they would not go if they had not waxed or shaved their bikini area. But despite low screening attendance, almost every woman (94 percent) said they would have a free test to prevent cancer if one was available.


You would expect this from young girls maybe but from grown women. The doctors don’t care what you look like, As for Smell have a shower shave wax before your appointment. Are these women saying that they would rather lose their life over there smell and look and if this woman has Daughters, what example are you setting As a parent we are responsible for our children? yes, they should be independent but also knowing that I will continue to Love, support and guide them till my end, I don’t want to bury another child especially because of vanity.



The Monsters

“This really is your last warning Karen If you have any more contact with Joe or you allow him to be around the children we will have no option but to remove the children from your care”, “It’s not that easy when he turns up at the door” Karen said, “Call the police” “and how do you suppose I do that the few times I have let him in was because its safer for me and the kids If I say he can’t come in he will smack me one” “I understand what you’re saying” Emma said  “well actually I don’t think you do, you said if I make a statement again him he would go jail that never  happened, I asked you to help with the housing so I could move out of the area that never happened, Now you are saying you will take my kids from me How does that work out, when are you going to help me like you say” “It’s not that straight forward Karen, “I will speak to my manager about a supporting letter for the housing” “I spoke to the head  at Chrissy’s school, they said they are quite concerned with the people she seems to be mixing with,  they are not a good influence on her, and her attendance is  not the greatest so can you make sure she is here for my next visit please Karen.

Karen felt so stressed and upset after the social worker left, also worried that if Joe came how was she going to stop him from coming in the house she was not strong enough to take another beating from him, she was still in constant pain with her legs after Joe had broken than them both with a bat. “You alright mum did the monster upset you” Karens youngest daughter Lilly said cuddling her mum so tight, “Don’t worry we will be ok” Lilly was only eight but was very wise for her age she had seen a lot in her little life “Do you want me to get you a glass mum” Lilly asked Karen  “Its a bit early Lil” Karen said”no-one will know ” Lil said “No I’m fine darling ill make myself a coffee in a minute love you, my special little girl”,  “Can I go downstairs to the park please mum” Lilly asked “cause you can you stay where I can see you ok”  “okay mum”Lilly skipped out the door. Karen, went into the kitchen making herself a coffee pouring a large vodka into it, she needed it steady her nerves.

Lilly saw Chrissy with her friends she run over to them “Hello Lil” they all said “The monster upset mummy again, said that she going to take us away if mum lets Joe in again” “Don’t worry yourself little one” Craze said picking Lil up and spinning her around “we will all make sure you and your sis won’t be going anywhere” looking at Chrissy smiling, Craze was Chrissy’s boyfriend “Go and play with your friends Lil don’t come out of the park till the ice cream man comes, here get you and your friends an ice-cream” Chrissy gave Lil a fiver “I’ll go and see mum now don’t worry, “Do you lot want to come and chill at mine case that fucking dick head turns up ”  everyone said “yea” Frankie said “I’ll go get a couple of bottle yea”

You all right Mum” Chrissy asked “Hello mum”  all the kids said  “Hello ” “Yea I’m ok Darling, where’s Lil”? Karen asked   “she okay she in the park gave her money for her and her  little friends to get   ice-cream” Chrissy told her mum   “Thank you darling”  “were  going chill here for a bit mum is that okay” Chrissy asked “yea course it is  their stuff for sandwiches and biscuits n the kitchen”  Karen was feeling sleepy the vodka and her anti depression was kicking in Karen would rather be asleep for a short while at least to have some peace of mind “Keep eye on your sister Chris” “I will mum don’t worry you just rest up, Chrissy laid a blanket over her mum, She kissed her head and said “Sweet dreams mum love you” . Craze was watching Chrissy “I have to sort this once and for all” Chrissy said to Craze “I’ll help you whatever you want me to do babe We all will”  Craze said “I know that babe thank you, I’m going call boss man and call in that favor I can’t stand by and watch my mum suffer anymore”

“Hello” “Is that Boss man”? Chrissy asked ” Who that” the man on the phone asked “Its  Chrissy from the Redwood do you remember me”   “How can I forget a princess like you Whats up babe” “I need some help to  stop my Mum’s EX Coming to the house, the social is saying they going to take my sister from my mum, Last time he broke my mum’s legs when  she tried to protect me and sister,  he will hurt her again. Princess, I never forget how you helped me and saved my arse from jail so, My Sweet your wish is my command, Meet me at the parade at Seven tonight okay princess”, “Thank you so much, Bossman”.


To be continued …..

Written and owned by K.L.Smith