#Parenting


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The last few weeks have been let’s say challenging, I will admit after the second, third row with my beautiful selfish spoilt young people in my house,I was struggling to  remember that I was the adult, You know the saying give an inch and they take a mile, not in this house these two take the whole of west London, Whatever you give they always want that bit more, So took hold and expressed my feeling, thoughts, of their actions, I am happy to say we all apologized  and we are all friend again, If I really have to take any responsibility Then I have to remember my daughter is not a little girl anymore and to respect and support her new journey in life, I can do that, as long as her journey is not too far away from home. To any parent who may be suffering due to  the fact you have a teenagers, Firstly My heart goes out to you all,  Stay strong, All families row and I believe this is healthy, you may not like what your child is saying but you are showing them what they have to say is important and they are free to express themselves without fear of judgment. images

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#Kell’zteam


When life is a struggle, your confidence, self Esteem is at all time Low, If you can’t fight for yourself, do it for your little Hero’s, I am truly blessed to have my children and loved one who has always supported and loved me as I have then. Strong unbreakable unconditional Unit, team Family.

I love you all Team, I wish you all the love and Happiness in the world Love Mummy Kell’z xxx <3<3<3

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#K.L.S.Lifestyle’z


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Children who witness Violent abusive relationships in the home can then become involved in abusive relationships later on,  Our children know what we teach and show them, I believe it is the parent’s responsibility to make sure their children know that violence, abuse of any kind is always wrong, To teach them social skills self-love self-respect and self-worth

Children of any age are affected by domestic violence and abuse. At no age will they be unaffected by what is happening, even when they are in the womb. Obviously, it is very upsetting for children to see one of their parents (or partners) abusing, attacking or controlling the other.

Younger children may become anxious. They may complain of tummy-aches or start to wet their bed. They may find it difficult to sleep, have temper tantrums and start to behave as if they are much younger than they are. They may also find it difficult to separate from their abused parent when they start nursery or school.

Older children react differently. Boys seem to express their distress much more outwardly, for example by becoming aggressive and disobedient. Sometimes, they start to use violence to try to solve problems and may copy the behavior they see within the family. Older boys may play truant and start to use alcohol or drugs (both of which are a common way of trying to block out disturbing experiences and memories). I myself have seen this in young people and what started as a way to block feeling and emotions go on to Addiction of alcohol and or drugs, and criminal activity to supply their Habbit.

Girls are more likely to keep their distress inside. They may become withdrawn from other people, and become anxious or depressed. They may think badly of themselves and complain of vague physical symptoms. They are more likely to have an eating disorder or to harm themselves by taking overdoses or cutting themselves. They are also more likely to choose an abusive partner themselves. young girls also allow themselves to be abused having very little Confidence or self-respect.  

Children of any age can develop symptoms of what is called ‘Post-traumatic Stress Disorder’. They may get nightmares, flashbacks, become very jumpy, and have headaches and physical pains.

Children dealing with domestic violence and abuse often do badly at school. Their frightening experiences at home make it difficult to concentrate in school, and if they are worried about their abused parent, they may refuse to go to school.

#Familyfirst


My last born..

Well I made it, My last born has just celebrated her 18th Birthday Being a mum never ends but I now have four adult children I have been a mother for 28 years and I have much amazing fun, proud and happy memories of the children growing up but I would be lying to say it has been easy and without troubles even heartbreak, I am sharing this for all the parents who may be in the toilet crying or pulling out there last hair Stay strong, Keep trying Believe me its worth it in the end

#childrenmatter


R.I.P Young one’z

 

My thoughts on the man calling these three young people who died on the train track Scum, Why would you say that? I’m sure these boys Family’s really don’t need to see that. I expressed my love and thoughts to the boys and there family’s Just one of the comment I got  from a very rude man

“they deserve everything they get, Hope the train hurt them when it hit them”  ” They got no-one to blame but themselves”  Vandal Scum,

I am not saying they weren’t wrong for what they were doing and I can’t imagine how the train driver feels but to call them names and say they deserve death this is from adults and they wonder why the children of today have the attitude and lack of respect for human life No parent should have to bury their child My love and thoughts are still with these boys and there family’s regardless to those who said I was wrong.

I felt like I was being bullied because I showed compassion These nasty cruel people have reinforced the fact there are very little love  and compassion in this world 

#Familyfirst


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Don’t make your life harder,

Except your child is growing up and life as you know, is over for at least a few years, you may have had an easy time with your other child/ children, To be honest, three of my children’s teen years wasn’t too painful, this is where I went wrong, I did this three times the  last child it will be a breeze, so I was comfortable, feeling confident I took my eye off the ball, Wow that ball smacked me right back in the face before I knew my whole household was in mayhem .

Advice that I was given,  Make sure she knows you love her and you will continue to support her obviously I never stopped loving her but there were times I didn’t like her she got me so mad, frustrated and stressed. 

Please familiarize yourself with these words Ungrateful, Selfish and F**king Rude.

Try not to take things to personal you may not get a whole sentence from them for weeks can only be Thankful for small mercy’s  

I still tried to give my daughter advice not that she needed it because she knows everything, be very Honest straightforward Do, not sugar coat the real Risks and Dangers  that is happening on the street  so they can at least try to protect themselves (“I wish I listened to you mum” she says now ) 

The most painful heart-wrenching thing to do Is watch your child walk in the direction that you know is the wrong way, Regardless of what you say or how you try to protect them, Darling, they will continue this route, This is when I had to say If you can not hear then you must Feel  I will always be here for you there is nothing you can’t tell me that we cant figure out together some kids just have to learn the hard way .

I write this in Honour of My amazing special Sons and Daughter who had to live with me at that  Emotional time, I wouldn’t have got through it  without you I am So proud of you all and Love you so very much,images

Also my beautiful nearly adult Daughter we experienced much drama pain and Confusion but we made it out alive lol You taught me a lot about myself on this Journey Baby, I wish you all the love and Happiness in the world Mummy will always be here 

 

#Kidsparties 


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Part 1 Kids parties when you have 10- 15 kids that need feeding  myself I had to do this Four times a year it can work out very expensive Belief me doing these little things yourself you will save so much and no difference in taste if not better,

Checked the Prices from a known supermarket I Can get 6 Cheese pizza’s for £8 That is not the cheapest ones and even if I have to buy the sausage and cheese £12  saved at Least £ 6-7

2 slices each child and extra for the Cook lol x

8 french sticks £2 Garlic, butter and herbs £3.   2-3 slices each  Saving at least £3-4

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#DIY


So I am going to disagree with my children I am not Stubborn or spoilt, I will say it is strong-willed and determined,

I woke up yesterday morning  and decided I no longer want my Sofa and my thinking If I throw it out this will encourage me to get new ones .

Round 1

I volunteered my Teenage daughter and her friend to help, after a few hours of trying to get it out the door “It’s not going to come out Mum” my reply “if I got it IN then it can come out ” I wasn’t Happy the sofa is going.

Round 2

My Son  and my teen daughter and friends, yes it was a struggle we got it out even if half my door frame and staircase went with it, I didn’t like them either

Son   “I only came to make sure you were ok before I went home Mum I’ve got a cut arm and I’m knackered ”

I love you children and friends Thank you, Teen, Daughter you can come home now I promise no more removal XXX

"Technically I have managed to get that big old sofa out the door..."

#parenting


Arguments & Phones/Communicationyou_cant_scare_me_my_daughter_is_a_teenager_wall

Stop And think about what triggers the arguments.
Or is it one big disagreement that keeps on going and is never sorted out for us
The rows would start small and quickly escalate when she became rude Looking back now I think I could have been a bit more mature Who is the Adult here?When things are getting heated ” Say you didn’t want to talk to them right now we can talk again when we have both calmed down”

If they not as talkative as they normally are don’t push for an answer but keep an eye on this try again later or in a few days
Make it a rule in the House that you want to know where they’re going and who they going with

from the age of 13 things started to go wrong with my daughter But last Two years I struggle to find words that are not swearing *&%^$$%>?@:@@
In all Honesty, When brought her an i phone It was like she stopped being able to communicate.

I Would Try and talk to her just get Mumbling as a reply, On a serious note I think I gave her too much freedom to the outside world
Be very careful about what they are allowed to view on the internet, Set the rules and the boundaries  I  completely trusted my daughter I should have paid more attention I told her what I thought was OK  to View she had always been a good girl I checked but not as much as I should and  Things change very Quickly.

#Parenting


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I think it really depends on the age of your children and circumstances,   but Harder as they get older, I am speaking from a women’s point of view but this will apply to the wonderful Daddy’s out there too.

Firstly Everyone is entitled to have relationships/friendships even if you have children I believe that your children must be your priority whatever relationship status you have and their feelings to be considered

From my personal experience, I stayed single for many years because of my past relationships and the effects of Past abuse I know I would never stay in an abusive relationship So I never feared to expose the children to that, to be honest, I was more concerned about myself as I never felt totally confident that I had recovered or had a clear mind thoughts So be sure of the relationship you are in before bringing them home

Age 1-5  is probably the easiest age to introduce someone new and for a partner to build a relationship with your child as they adapt to how you are running your life. Do not under any circumstance Allow your child to call your partner Daddy always correct them even if their biological father has no contact Stepparents can be a great parental Figure eventually Believe me Honest really is best.

Age 5-10 When you are in a new relationship and you all loved up please bear in mind this age  a child will more likely feel pushed out, unloved and unwanted especially if it was just you and them before your new partner came along if this happens you will have a whole load of problems, issue to come with your child as they get older. Take things slowly at first try not to stop thing you and your child do together on a regular basis maybe ask your child if your partner can come one week If they say No DO NOT just bring them anyway. Explain that this is your friend and you hope you all get along so your child understands that you are not asking permission you’re saying what is happening and nothing will change between you. Make sure your new partner Knows that your children are your priority any decent fella will understand that and if they don’t Jog them on x

Age 10 -16 Good luck lol

Now is where the games begin, make sure you don’t change too much at this age children  have a way of making a parent feel very guilty and will use this weakness to get what they want Please don’t tell Fibs, you have given in to your child’s demands for an easy life like myself I’m going to keep this short as long as you are still looking after your children loving and supporting them and you haven’t abandoned them and run off with your new fella always take the childen in to concideration but that doesnt mean your life has to stop.

 

#Reallife


 

 

purple-starsI know sometimes having them talks with your children can be a bit awkward,and it is a parent Instinct to protect their child so we kinda sugar coat issues, The dangers and the risks on the streets today are too high for you not to be  open and honest with your children, you could really put them at risk by not letting them see the real world. This is for all Parent please don’t believe that bad thing only happen to poverty-struck kids from broken home, I know for a fact that is not the case Teach your children especally young girls self-love and confidence so they dont feel the need to seek Attention from people who may not have there best intrest at heart  My daughter looks in the mirrow and feels no way to say “look how beautiful I am mum” because that is what I taught her she does not need to beg love or attention because she has enough right here.

To any young lady’s reading this

Self- respect Self-love self-worth, STRONG, INDEPENDENT, BOSS BITCH

When the guy calls you Beautiful and you’re his baby and then pays for your nails or your hair to be done Be careful you don’t pay dearly for these.

I am not saying everyone will exploit or treat you badly but until you can tell the difference go do some chores for Muma and pay for your own nails.

our children matter